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When bullies go to work, how should a Christian respond? by Elizabeth Hunter

Unlike overt physical violence, workplace bullying is more subtle. If you’ve ever walked away from a work bully wondering what hit you and why something so childish hurt so much, you’re not alone. Zogby researchers found that bullying disproportionately affects women. 57 percent of bullies targeted women, and 71 percent of these women were bullied by other women.

Although there is legislation and awareness regarding workplace bullying in Europe, the tendency in America is to blame the targets of bullies, say the Namies. They’ve chosen to call the bullied “targets” instead of “victims” to help the bullied realize that they are not helpless.

Bullying is four times more likely to occur than sexual harassment, the Namies say. And unlike cases of sexual harassment, most American employers do not have rules or policies that explicitly prohibit bullying.

When one bully or a small pack of bullies tear you or others down, what are you supposed to do? Here are four ways to take your cue from Scripture:

1. Love your neighbor as yourself, respecting and praying for everyone involved.

For your own sanity, you must distinguish between the person who is harsh but applies standards consistently and fairly across all staff and the person who singles you out for cruel treatment. Don’t take responsibility for a co-worker’s behavior, only your own. And accept that you can’t trust or change a bully.

Even if the bully believes that her disrespect is merited, demeaning comments can be met with calm demands, such as, “There is no need for you to belittle me. We are both professionals here. I treat you with respect, and I expect you to treat me the same.”

Try not to attack or defend. Imagine someone altering a photograph of you. You wouldn’t own it. You’d laugh at how ridiculous it looked.

God’s picture of you is a vast ocean of possibility and love (so is God’s picture of the bully, even if she doesn’t seem to know it). Find affirmation in Jeremiah 29:11: “For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.”

2. Do not bear false (or silent) witness against your neighbor.

When someone makes a cutting remark or spreads a rumor about a co-worker, nip it in the bud. And if you yourself are engaging in bully behavior, get help for anger management or talk to someone who can help you learn new ways of dealing with stress.

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Visit the study page for ideas for discussion and further reflection.

"You have heard it said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.' But I say to you, do not resist one who is evil. If anyone hits you on your right cheek, turn the other also." (Matthew 5:38-39)

Generations of misguided people have cited this text as they urged frightened wives to stay with abusive husbands, oppressed groups to submit to their oppressors, and others who are being diminished by bullying forces to refrain from resisting. But how can the same Jesus who said, "I have come that they might have life and have it abundantly" (John 10:10) be the Jesus who suggests to people whose very existence is threatened that they submit to such treatment?

The Rev. Walter Wink, in his book The Powers That Be, offers a helpful explanation of what Jesus might have intended. It offers quite the opposite message. Wink says, "Jesus . . . resisted evil with every fiber of his being. There is not a single instance in which Jesus does not resist evil when he encounters it." Wink goes on to unpack the Greek word “resist,” noting that its connotations are about more than simply holding back—Jesus uses “resist” to indicate that we are not to resist violently. Do not resist evil on its own terms. Jesus is expressing what Paul later articulates in his letter to the Roman Christians: "Do not return evil for evil" (Romans 12: 17).

Jesus gives several examples of what he means by resisting bullying without returning evil for evil. The first is the well-known example of turning the other cheek. Wink delves into this first example: "Imagine if I were your assailant and I were to strike a blow with my right fist at your face, which cheek would it land on? It would be the left. It is the wrong cheek in terms of the text we are looking at. Jesus says, 'If anyone strikes you on the right cheek . . . .' I could hit you on the right cheek if I used a left hook, but that would be impossible in Semitic society because the left hand was used only for unclean tasks. You couldn't even gesture with your left hand in public. The only way I could hit you on the right cheek would be with the back of the hand."

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