3. Don’t be naive, or as Jesus said, “See, I am sending you out like sheep into the midst of wolves; so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves” (Matthew 10:16).

If you are being bullied, avoid participating in office gossip (hard as that may be!). But remain aware of office politics. Watch what’s going on, and pay attention to what’s being said and what’s not being said. Is there a need to assign blame for things? Is someone trying to smear a co-worker’s character, and if so, to what end? Is the bullied person a potential sacrificial lamb? Understanding some of the dynamics may help you better navigate your current and future work environment.

Consider and pray about whether (and how) to talk to your supervisor about the situation and how it affects the work. If you decide to say something, make sure you don’t seem angry, whining, or complaining. The Zogby researchers actually found that in 62 percent of cases, employers who learned about workplace bullying did nothing or made the problem worse.

Eventually, you need to talk to someone. So consider carefully whether it’s better to speak with a pastor or counselor not employed by your company. This can help you get an outside perspective.

If you supervise someone who is bullying, take steps to defuse the situation. Make it known in a setting where all are present that such behavior will not be tolerated, regardless of who is involved. List possible consequences. You can also salt the rumor mill with positive remarks and reassure targeted employees of their value and the fact that the employee doing the bullying has no power over your good opinion of them. Telling a bullied employee where he or she stands with you and regularly checking in with both compliments and concerns can take a bully out of the powerful middleman position they’d like to create between you and your employee.

4. Know when to walk, or as Jesus said, “If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your sandals” (Matthew 10:14).

Nearly half of people bullied at work develop health issues due to stress and fear that their livelihoods are threatened, the U.S. Workplace Bullying Survey found. To stop the bullying, 77 percent of respondents who were bullied eventually left their jobs. Some might say that’s letting bullies win, but the Namies urge doing whatever is best for your health and family life. The survey noted another effect of workplace bullying for employers: turnover of an estimated 21 to 28 million employees in recent years.

Yet here's the thing about bullies anywhere: They don't have power in isolation. It takes a village to give them power.

And it takes a village to begin to blur the difference between being competitive — athletically, for example — and being cruel. Today, in sports and beyond, there's a loss of respect for our neighbors. Large crowds at soccer events in Spain boldly hurl racial epithets at players of African descent. Audiences applaud as judges on shows like “American Idol” mock contestants who were promoted only to provide targets. Even some journalists no longer objectively deliver news, hoping for the applause of higher ratings if a snide comment here and there reflects viewers' worst thoughts.

As a culture, we have accepted bullying as fun, as entertaining. But it is a way to avoid self-examination. Bullying helps us avoid playing with those who aren't like us. And doesn't Jesus command us to "love one another?"

I asked a group of people about their experience with bullies. Here are some of their tips:

* "To survive this treatment, I play a game. I close my eyes on the train home and pray much of the way. I leave her mean treatment sitting on the train floor— to ride all the way to the end of the line. I vow not to take it home. I visualize it as a putrid puddle on the train's floor. I cleanse myself and try to return to normalcy. Most of the time this works!"

* "There are always exceptions, but it helps for people, especially women, to gain confidence and a high regard for themselves. From working with mothers in child protection, I’ve learned that many abusive men select women they view as inferior or easy to control."

* "From my experience in dealing with a bully in the workplace, the last thing you want to do is lower yourself to their level and attempt to retaliate. I usually try to look past the immediate situation. The 'bully' probably doesn't have a very happy life outside the workplace or there's something else they're dealing with. ... Maybe they're jealous of the joy they sense in your life."

* "I let my words be few. Once you say something or lash out in public, you can never take those words back and your actions are a permanent part of your workplace reputation. Take the 'high road' if at all possible and let God deal with that person. Pray for the situation and for them by name every day. I know that can be tough because over a long period of time, you begin to accept their bad behavior as normal. ...It's not just your reputation; it's Christ's reputation too. Take time to thank God daily for the good things in your life, dwell on the positive.
 

Elizabeth Hunter is an associate editor for The Lutheran magazine and a member of Holy Family Lutheran Church, Chicago, Illinois.
 

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