Content warning: Suicide is mentioned in this issue.
If you or someone you know is in crisis or at risk for Suicide, call or text 988 or chat online at 988lifeline.org. The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in the United States.
by Minna Bothwell
“Now before the festival of the Passover, Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart from this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.” John 13:1 NRSVUE
Love.
Love is our beginning, our middle, and our end.
Love outpours like water from a pitcher, like wine from a cup, like blood from a body.
On the last night that Jesus spent with his disciples, he chose to wash their feet, share a meal, and tenderly remind them of his love—love that would remain with them long after he left.
“Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands and that he had come from God and was going to God, got up from supper, took off his outer robe, and tied a towel around himself. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet…” (John 13:3-5 NRSVUE)
Love did not hold back in those final moments. Love instead invited a relationship. Love made a promise. Love became our story to share.
“I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13: 34-35)
In our faith and our doubt, in our joy and our sorrow, in our beauty and our brokenness, there is love, Christ’s love.
Christ’s love is the story I come back to time and time again when I find myself dizzy from despair and when everything around me feels like it is crumbling. I come back to Jesus tenderly loving his own on that final night before his crucifixion. It reminds me of who and whose I am: beloved child of God, washed and fed, claimed and nourished, loved and forgiven, now and always, no matter what.
Two years have passed since my beloved brother Bruce died by Suicide. It has been a living hell to come to terms with his death and this grief. I hate that he cannot be here. I hate that I cannot change what has happened. I hate what my family has had to endure.
There are days when my grief is so great that I am absolutely out of my mind. Those are the days I imagine that no one could love me. Not like this. Not in my irritability, or my anxiety, or my despair. The death of my brother has changed so much of who I thought I would be. Some days, I find it impossible to love myself or to love those who mean the most to me.
I often wonder if the disciples experienced this in the days, weeks, and months following Jesus’ death. I wonder if they were out of their minds, too. Honestly, if I could hide behind locked doors, I probably would. I can only imagine the anguish that set in as they came to terms with their beloved friend and Messiah’s death. Shame, regret, and confusion are relentless at times.
But they are not alone.
On the empty cross and in the empty grave, there is a love that knows no bounds. A love that will continue to seek after us no matter where we find ourselves.
And in the moments when that is hard to believe, there is the table that Christ has set—which welcomes me every Sunday and promises to embrace me with nothing less than the tender love of God in Christ.
And….that is a love that spans time and space, connecting us to God and each other beyond anything we could fathom.
Love.
Love outpours like water from a pitcher, like wine from a cup, like blood from a body.
Love that is our beginning, our middle, and our end.
Discussion questions:
1. How does John 13 demonstrate God’s love in Christ through the acts of foot washing and sharing a meal, and what practical lessons can we draw from these examples to recognize and reflect Christ’s love in our daily interactions with others?
2. In what ways does Jesus’ commandment to “love one another as I have loved you” provide a framework for understanding and experiencing God’s love amid personal struggles and challenges?
3. How can we cultivate an awareness of God’s love as illustrated in moments of difficulty, and what spiritual practices can help us remain connected to this divine love in our everyday lives?
Closing prayer:
Gracious God, amid daily struggles and challenges, help us to recognize your presence. When we are weary, remind us of your love; when we are burdened, lift us with the assurance that you are near. Give us the courage to love each other as you have first loved us. In the name of Jesus Christ, we pray, Amen.
The Rev. Minna Bothwell serves Capitol Hill Lutheran Church in the East Village of Des Moines, Ia. Much of her ministry centers around creating authentic relationships and advocacy for Iowans. When not working she loves spending time with her husband Nat and daughter Ada. In the summer she loves to garden and paint.